Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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