South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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