i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
