Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
