When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
