I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
