I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Randomize
