I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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