we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
