My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
