Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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