am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
