Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
