remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
time to smoke my breakfast
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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