Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
