Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
