i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
