Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
