HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
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Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
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I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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