Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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