Sorry, I don't speak sober.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
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He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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