I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
