I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
