the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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