I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
