If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
