I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Pooping to opera.
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