At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Shame - the story of my life.
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