after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
