its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
