you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
God I need to hump something, right now.
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