hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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