he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
