Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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