I think my vagina is haunted
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
