Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?

(305): View more from Florida

Its worth a shot.

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(918): Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits? (305): Its worth a shot. http://tfl.nu/0784

Replies (9) Good night (1306) Bad night (2753)
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(801): View more from Utah

so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"

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(801): so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!" http://tfl.nu/yefk

Replies (25) Good night (1169) Bad night (11532)
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(845): View more from New York

well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back

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(845): well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back http://tfl.nu/xxu5

Replies (33) Good night (4314) Bad night (1476)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.

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(918): he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy. http://tfl.nu/so4p

Replies (5) Good night (1298) Bad night (2728)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.

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(715): I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa. http://tfl.nu/2ols

Replies (2) Good night (1534) Bad night (679)
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(757): View more from Virginia

Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.

(1-757): View more from Virginia

It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.

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(757): Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week. (1-757): It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell. http://tfl.nu/5ztt

Replies (6) Good night (2752) Bad night (1012)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"

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(952): Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?" http://tfl.nu/w3wv

Replies (12) Good night (2647) Bad night (649)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.

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(503): Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur. http://tfl.nu/hsyp

Replies (7) Good night (710) Bad night (1647)
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(912): View more from Georgia

Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?

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(912): Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever? http://tfl.nu/koc4

Replies (11) Good night (1473) Bad night (763)
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(813): View more from Florida

A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.

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(813): A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise. http://tfl.nu/t24q

Replies (2) Good night (446) Bad night (1432)
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(816): View more from Missouri

We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.

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(816): We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri. http://tfl.nu/7urx

Replies (5) Good night (943) Bad night (362)
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(515): View more from Iowa

Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick

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(515): Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick http://tfl.nu/oet2

Replies (3) Good night (726) Bad night (383)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.

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(803): the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this. http://tfl.nu/qdyt

Replies (0) Good night (594) Bad night (364)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"

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(318): A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?" http://tfl.nu/oinl

Replies (5) Good night (1730) Bad night (472)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard

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(303): I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard http://tfl.nu/t1kd

Replies (3) Good night (400) Bad night (557)

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