Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Even my vagina gasped.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Randomize
Follow @tfln