maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him