Texts From Last Night

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  (626): View more from California

  and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.

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  (626): and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name. http://tfl.nu/n8x4
  Replies (13) Good night (2638) Bad night (597) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window

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  (602): Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window http://tfl.nu/pu84
  Replies (23) Good night (542) Bad night (2221) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like

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  (757): It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like http://tfl.nu/masc
  Replies (81) Good night (8838) Bad night (1200) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.

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  (613): So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success. http://tfl.nu/o5kx
  Replies (7) Good night (5377) Bad night (759)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it

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  (647): he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it http://tfl.nu/1z9x
  Replies (13) Good night (4318) Bad night (1592) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?

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  (604): All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea? http://tfl.nu/njfe
  Replies (8) Good night (3986) Bad night (1037) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.

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  (330): Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment. http://tfl.nu/dli5
  Replies (11) Good night (1206) Bad night (2083) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.

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  (248): Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it. http://tfl.nu/o1jt
  Replies (8) Good night (3879) Bad night (1055) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Even my vagina gasped.

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  (515): Even my vagina gasped. http://tfl.nu/5sis
  Replies (15) Good night (5064) Bad night (919) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.

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  (513): I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake. http://tfl.nu/fip9
  Replies (8) Good night (4129) Bad night (926) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.

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  (505): Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why. http://tfl.nu/r7vy
  Replies (7) Good night (2140) Bad night (672) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'

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  (315): mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes' http://tfl.nu/oh7r
  Replies (23) Good night (708) Bad night (3476) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.

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  (916): You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you. http://tfl.nu/ukeu
  Replies (4) Good night (595) Bad night (1589) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck

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  (717): can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck http://tfl.nu/v7jv
  Replies (4) Good night (1458) Bad night (562) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.

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  (415): Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store. http://tfl.nu/kxjk
  Replies (8) Good night (2137) Bad night (295) Order T-Shirt

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