I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.