Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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