i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
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