is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
