U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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