I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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