I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
