Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
