Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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