Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
