How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
