I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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