better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i dont even know how to be here
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
