i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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