respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Bring me that man meat
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
