do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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