i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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