Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
