I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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