I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
