But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
