Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
