Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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