finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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