If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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