Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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