I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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