If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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