hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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