Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
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We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
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Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
that is very illegal...i love you.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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